retirement gag gifts | funny retirement gag gifts | unique retirement gifts

33 Fun Retirement Gag Gifts: Funny, Party and Old Age Gift Ideas

Looking for a funny retirement gag gift?

Something that says, “we will miss you” while doing so in a humorous way?

Or perhaps you are looking for some fun retirement party gift ideas.

This post has all of that. No reason to waste more time. Let’s get to it…


Retirement “Party” Gag Gifts

Some retirement gifts are meant to only really be used once, at a retirement party. Of course, they can be kept to be nice shelf knick-knacks to remember the day, but are almost exclusively used to make a retirement party more festive.

This section is all about those retirement “party” gifts.

Retirement Party Survival Hat

great retirement part gift - retirement survival hat

The Official retirement hat is the perfect souvenir or retirement gag gift. This gift is great for the retiree to wear to any party, and then makes a great souvenir of the retirement party.

This simple, yet lighthearted gift comes with all the “retirement needs” attached. Find out more…

HUGE Retirement Card

retirement gift card HUGE

This giant retirement card says, “best wishes” in a really, really big way. Measuring at 2 feet by 3 feet. It makes every other retirement card seem small and meaningless by comparison.

Note: 24X36 inches, the size in the picture above, seems big enough for me…. But if you want to go even bigger, there is an option for 36X48

Retirement Party Gift Wine Bottle Labels

retirement wine bottle labels

These inexpensive wine bottle labels can give any normal bottle of wine a more festive appearance. They are the perfect gift for any retirement party, or to liven up any “wine gift” for any retiree. These are great gag gifts for any man or woman.

The 6 labels say the following:

  • Quit. Quit. Hooray!
  • Retirement looks good on you
  • Wine all you want, your retired.
  • I work wine to five.
  • Hello Freedom
  • Officially Retired. Congratulations!

Officially Retired Retirement Party Tiara

retirement plastic tiara

A retirement tiara is a great gift for any retiree and their retirement party. An inexpensive gift that makes the retirement party more sparkly. And who doesn’t want more sparkle in their retirement?

Hearing Enhancer

Hearing Enhancer - plastic retirement party gift

Remember all the classic old movies where every old person was practically deaf and had to put an ear horn up to their ear with a crotchety “Wazzat? Huh? I am Deef, you know” This fun retirement gag gift reminds me of that but in a modern, jokey manner.

If you like the idea of an ear horn, but you want something that looks more like the tin “twisty” ones in the old movies check out this traditional ear horn.

Retirement Cards

The day of his retirement Bernard fired off one final email blast
The day of his retirement Bernard fired off one final email blast

There are lots of great funny cards you can get your beloved coworkers for retirement. Far more than many of the boring options you might find at your local gift store.

[Check out this larger list of retirement cards to see some of the cool options you can get.]

Retirement Sash

Another gift just for the retirement party. This sash lets everyone in a bar or restaurant know just who the retiree is.

Retirement Gag Gifts

In this next section, we cover the best retirement “gag” gifts. These are the gifts that are less practical and meant to be more fun and humorous gifts. Often poking fun at the retiree’s age or their future participating in typical retiree stereotypes.

Let’s get to it….

Personalized Bobbleheads

I think personalized bobbleheads make a great gift for ANY occasion. Not just as a retirement gift. How many people get personalized bobbleheads that look just like them? Not many, I bet.

This can be an awesome gift for retirement, anniversary, birthday or any special occasion. But let’s stick to the idea of this post and look at it as a retirement gift.

The way I see it, there are a few different ways you can go with these personalized bobbleheads as a retirement gift.

Ideas for giving a bobblehead as a retirement gift:

  • Use current image
  • Use an image from when retiree started at the company
  • Use image from their first job
  • make bobblehead image with spouse (current)
  • Use an old picture, spouse, from when they first started dating
  • Make a 3-5 person bobblehead with favorite coworkers

The process to make these bobbleheads are fairly strait-forward

  1. Upload image of person you want to make bobblehead for. Better if you are also able to upload a profile of the person.
  2. Decide on “Body” of image. There is a lot of choices here. business suits. Superhero bodies. Golfing. Car driving. Sunning at the beach.
  3. Clay sculpture of the head made. You approve the head before the process continues. (ensuring you get the result you desire)
  4. Bobblehead completed and shipped.

Cool stuff, huh?

Money Tree

Every retiree needs a source of money.

Now they say that money does not grow on trees. Or does it.

With this money tree, you can create a cool “source of money” that makes a great retirement gag gift and doubles as a cool souvenir.

Want an inexpensive gag gift… fill it up with ones. If you want to make a nice expensive gag gift they will LOVE. Try filling it up with 100’s or even with gift cards rather than bills.

LEVONTA Pocket Watch Retirement Gag Gift for Men

A pocket watch is a pretty standard and old-fashioned retirement gift. You can have a little fun with that old gift by getting this funny engraved pocket watch as a gag gift.

The inscription reads, “I thought I retired but now I just work for my wife.” Made with a premium zinc alloy metal.  Watch has a precision quartz movement and will last forever if wound regularly.

Over the Hill Decision Maker

This is a small knick-knack that makes a great “thinking of you” gift or as a gag gift before you gift a larger “real” gift. If is a lot less than $5 and is small. But it is all about the joke. Featuring all the “tough decisions” the retiree will have to make in retirement.

Spinner choices include:

  • Take a nap
  • Sit in recliner
  • Watch TV
  • Dye Hair Blue
  • Take a nap
  • Be grouchy
  • Take a Nap
  • Drive Really Slow

Warning: I’m Retired – T-Shirt

Retirement T-Shirt

This Retirement T-Shirt has a sarcastic message, “Warning. I’m Retired. I know everything and have plenty of time to talk about it.”

Retirement Gag Gift Senior’s Texting Code Coffee Mug

senior texting code mug

Is the retiree a little behind the times when it comes to current texting slang? Or in a highly technical field? Either way, they might really enjoy this fun, “senior texting code” gag gift.

A funny retirement gift for a coworker or family member.

This 11-ounce white ceramic coffee mug with senior texting codes printed on the outside. The cup is both microwave and dishwasher safe for your convenience.

Out of Business Cards

Another funny retirement gag gift that is a fairly simple idea. “Retired” business cards. You could likely have these made at any Staples or any similar store. But you can also get a very simple set from this link. It comes with 25 cards with no case or 15 with a case.

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man (funny retirement book)

I must admit it. One thing I am looking forward to as I get older is becoming the crotchety old man, who says whatever he feels like no matter how embarrassing or socially awkward. It is will be fun to not give a s**t.

But this book is a lot of fun. The more someone worries about getting older after they retire, the funnier it becomes. Give them the lessons to avoid becoming crotchety old men in this fun retirement book.

Kitchen Retirement Sign

Retirement = the worlds longest coffee break

This kitchen retirement sign reads: Retirement The World’s Longest Coffee Break – Pull up a seat & enjoy a cup.

Novelty Socks, “ If You Can Read This Bring me some Wine”

Vibrant and colorful socks that any wine-loving retiree might love

Puzzle Pieces – Guestbook

A 117-piece puzzle. With large blank puzzle pieces. The idea of this puzzle is to have many friends, coworkers, colleagues, and family write small short messages of encouragement on each puzzle piece. Then when the puzzle is put together you have a wonderful piece of retirement memorabilia.

“Prescription” Shot Glasses

This gift gives the retiree an idea of the fun and exciting life they can look forward to after retirement. Taking shots of all their many prescriptions.

RetireMints Mints

Okay, the pun is horrible. But still, this makes a fun and collectible souvenir they can keep on their shelves for years to come. Plus, as an added benefit, the mints are tasty. Could your retiree ask for more?

Each reusable metal tin is 1 3/4 x 1 3/4 x 3/4 inches.

Racing Grannies

Racing grannies. Why not?

Another humorous gift to poke a little gentle fun at any retiree.

Retirement “To Do” list Pillow

retirement todo list pillow

Unlearning the habits of keeping extensive “to-do” lists and maintaining high productivity can be an issue for many retirees. Poke fun at this natural occurrence by gifting a comfortable throw pillow that has a to-do list consisting of nothing but naps.

I Work Periodically T-Shirt

A funny T-Shirt is a standard gag retirement gift. This one is particularly interesting for anyone who loves chemistry or the “Breaking Bad” method of spelling words with their chemistry symbols.

The shirt says: (with periodic table symbols): Re-Ti-Re-D: I Work Periodically

Dr. Seuss old folks book

Dr. Seuss is not just for kids. “Your Only Old Once: a book for obsolete children” This book is a funny look at aging and getting older. It is of course also a funny way to have some fun with your favorite retirees.

Jump to Conclusions

Jump to conclusions

This was Tom Smykowski’s million-dollar idea from the movie Office Space. Anyone who loves that wonderful movie about the difficulties of working in a cubicle environment will surely love their own copy of this “ridiculous” yet funny idea.

Retirees are going to need some way to make their decisions. Why not, “Jump to Conclusions”

Retirement Rule (metal signs)

retirement rules -metal sign

This metal retirement sign reads: Retirement rules

  • Wake up smiling
  • Go for a walk
  • Read a book
  • Travel the world
  • Make memories
  • Take naps
  • Visit family and friends
  • Be grateful for the day

“Old Age” Stereotype Retirement Gag Gifts

Sometimes memorable gifts are not about being a “great gift” but rather about being a memorable one. Cheesy. Tacky.

Or the gifts in this section: “old age” gifts that gently poke fun at the retiree and their “advanced age” as they retire. These gifts can be useful for older folks, but in the context of giving them to a retiree, they are often meant to be humorous.

Pro note: collect many of these items together, with a few other “filler” gag gifts, and they can make a wonderful DIY “old age” gift package

Magnifying Glass

magnifying glass as retirement gift

Designer Walking Stick

Designer walking stick

Emergency Underpants

Empty Piggy Bank

Every retiree needs a method for saving money in retirement. Why not get it started with a Piggybank.

“Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up”

Remember the old commercial, where the old lady falls and calls in a medical alert, with “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up”. If you are younger than 40, you might not, but any retiree will certainly remember this 80s-90s meme, and certainly get the joke if you get them this medical alert bracelet. And who knows, maybe someday when they are truly old, they might even use this.

Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer

Out of control ear and nose-hair is certainly a stereotype of old age. And let’s be honest, there is a practical aspect to this gift because there is some truth behind it. I am not yet 50 and finding strange hairs popping up out of my nose and ears from time to time. So, while this gift is a dig at the retiree, it can also actually be useful.

Golf Club Urinal

This gag gift for retirees’ pokes fun at two of the major stereotypes of retirement. First that they all golf… a lot. Secondly, that retirees all have small bladders and need to pee… a lot. Whether or not these stereotypes are true for your retiree this makes a great gag gift. Of course, this golf club urinal works, so there is potential for this to be a useful gift too, and not just a big joke.

A Final Word on Retirement Gifts

Retirement is a big deal. Hopefully, this collection of retirement gift ideas gives you some fun and funny ideas of things you can give to your favorite retiree if you want to give them a “gag” gift.

What is your favorite retirement “gag” gift idea? What else could be on this list? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments below.

retirement gag gifts | funny retirement gag gifts | unique retirement gifts