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Retirement Cards: 19 of the Best Funny, Sentimental & Joyous Cards

Looking for a retirement card for a boss or coworker who is retiring soon?

Retirement is one of the most important days in someone’s life. Similar to a wedding or childbirth, it is a day that many people work years to achieve. They plan for it. Save for it, and will think about it for many years to come.

Another person’s retirement may not be a big deal to you and your coworkers, but to the retiree, it will certainly matter. They will enjoy your good wishes and are likely to save any retirement cards they get for years to come. So a good retirement cards matter.

There many great types of cards you can purchase, or even make if you are the DIY type. There are funny cards, sentimental cards, and of course celebratory retirement cards,

This post features some of the best options for retirement cards. Most of these choices are the extra-large 8.5-inch X 11 Inch size, so

Let’s get to it…

Funny Retirement Cards

Personally, I am quite a fan of funny retirement cards. That is why I feature so many of them in this post.

It is nice to give people a laugh and overly sentimental cards might make it sound more like you are sympathizing over a “bad” event rather than celebrating a joyous new chapter of someone’s life.

If you agree with my sentiments on funny retirement cards, then you will enjoy this next (and largest) section.

Seven Dwarves of Retirement Card

Seven Dwarves of Retirement
Inside reads: “Wishing you big fun in your retirement! Congratulations From All of Us”

Golfy. Fishy. Nappy. Mopey. Hobby. TV and Trippy. Yup. All the seven dwarves of retirement are included in this oversized-sized ( 8.5 x 11 inch). A fun poke at any upcoming retiree. With the large size, it can be both a great gift from individuals AND a good gift card that can be filled out from many people in the office. Lots of room for many signatures.

Retirement: Sit Back and Rewind

Funny retirement card

This card reads, “Cassette Deck” The first cassette says “Retirement is great.” The second cassette says. “Yeah, it’s nice to sit back and rewind”. The inside of the card reads, ” Relax, Rewind, and Enjoy Your Retirement! Congratulations From All of Us” Another large-sized retirement card that is great because it can be signed by many in the office.

Cat Lover Retirement Card

let the nine lives begin

Is your retiree a cat lover? If so this funny card might be the perfect one to give them for their big day of retirement. The card reads, “Let the nine lives begin” and features a cartoon cat lounging at the beach with a pile of books, and an icy drink in their paws. The inside of the card reads, “Make every life count! Happy retirement from all of us!” 

Dam Shame your Leaving

beaver retirement card

This amusing card features a relaxing cartoon beaver sipping a fruity drink and sitting in a lounge chair by a pool and near the ocean, with a palm tree peeking in from the side. The front of the card says, “You are retiring, good news for you...”. The inside of the card reads, “Dam shame for the rest of us! Congratulations from all of us!

Retirement: Gives you Time to do your Diddly Squats

cat lover retirement card

Another funny card that any cat-loving retiree will certainly love. The funny image alone makes it a great card for any cat lover. Featuring a cat seeming sleeping on an exercise ball, the text says, “I started a new daily routine. Every day I do diddly squats.” The inside of the card has a simple message, “Congratulations from all of us on your retirement!

A Final Email Blast

I think this is one of the most clever of the retirement card choices featured here. I love the idea of a “final email blast”. It is just a funny visual. The cartoon on this card features a shotgun blasting a hole in a computer screen with the text saying, “On the day of his retirement, Bernard fired off one final email blast.” The inside of the card says, “Another Hotshot Gets To Retire! Congratulations From All Of Us” and since this is one of the larger sized cards, it has a lot of room for many messages from people in the office.

Retirement Humorous Sympathy Card

This funny retirement card, rather than expressing happiness for the retiree, ironically expresses sympathy for the wife of the retiree. It says: “Some say retirement isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. There’s depression, sadness, anger…” Then there inside of the card says, “I hope your wife gets over it. Happy Retirement!”

Golf-Lover Retirement Card

This is a great card for any retiree who also loves to play a lot of golf. (Admittedly a retirement stereotype) The cover of this card reads: “Don’t play too much golf … two rounds per day are enough.” The inside of the card is very simple and says, “Happy Retirement From All of Us!” and since it is a jumbo 8.5 x 11-inch card, there is also ample room for many kind messages to your golfing retiree.

Don’t Hassle Me – I’m Retired

Want to get a smile from your retiree? This card might do the trick. The front of the card says, “Whoa! Didn’t See The Shirt! Sorry To Bother You, Sir! Don’t Hassle Me! I’m Retired!” The inside of the card features the statement, “Enjoy The Road Ahead! Congratulations On Your Retirement From All Of Us.”

Alarm Clock for Retirees

This retirement card features the text, “Alarm clock for retirees” with the alarm clock giving the perfect message for any retiree, “Go back to sleep! Or get up! Entirely up to you!

Retirement: Twice the spouse

retirement: twice the spouse

Funny retirement card. It says, “Retirement: Twice as much spouse for half as much money.” on the front and inside it says, “Hope your retirement is twice the fun! Congratulations.

“Retirement Planner” Card

My retirement planner – retirement card. M-S “Do whatever the hell I want“.

Sentimental Retirement Cards

While I love funny retirement cards, there is always room for more serious and sentimental cards. The next section features some of those examples.

Happy Trails Retirement Card from Zazzle

happy trails

This simple and slightly sentimental greeting card comes from Zazzle, where you can get many interesting homemade products that are created, not by big businesses, but by average people just like you and me. It has quite a few interesting cards this “happy trails” greeting card is a great example of a very simple retirement card your retire may love. This card is just normal size, but they offer some great options from the whole gang at work that are quite large -reaching sizes up to 5 feet tall. Check out more retirement cards on Zazzle.

The Difference between a workplace and NICE place to work

The difference between a workplace and a nice place to work is the good people who make it so

Sentimental card for someone who is retiring or leaving for a new job. The card says, “The difference between a workplace and a nice place to work is the good people who make it so.” The message inside says, “Thank you for everything. You’ll be missed.”

Some People are Really Easy to Like

Some People are Really Easy to Like

Celebrate a retirement or wish your coworker well as they start a new role with a sweet farewell card they’re sure to appreciate. This card features a great looking watercolor daisy with the words “Some people are really, really easy to like“, with the inside of the card carries the sentimental message, “. . . And really, really hard to say good-bye to.

Congratulations on Retirement

The front of this card gives a very simple message, “Congratulations on your retirement”. However, the inside of this card gives a very strong sentimental message for any retiree. “You gave your best day after day, treating everyone around you with respect and setting an example for others to follow. That’s why you’re thought of so highly and wished happiness in all the days to come.

Joyous Retirement Cards

Peanuts Retirement Card

inspiring retirement card

Inside of the card is many messages from the most popular peanuts cards. First, there is a general greeting, “So you’ll have to settle for these enthusiastic and totally-happy-for-you wishes!” then we get the peanuts characters chiming in… Woodstock: That’s bird talk for Happy Retirement! Lucy: If you were any more irreplaceable you’d be me! Snoopy: When I think of how happy I am for you I do a little dance or two! Charlie Brown: Happiness is having a retiree like you to say congratulations to!

Celebrate All You Have Done

Celebrate retirement card
 inside reads: “..and all that you won’t have to do anymore! Congratulations.”

This retirement gift card reads, “As you retire celebrate all that you have done.” A great sentiment gift card. This card is oversized and perfect for use by an office or a few people from an office with room for many private sentimental messages for the retiree.

Big Retirement Wishes

Big retirement wishes gift card
Inside reads: congratulations!

If you work at an office, retirements happen all the time. It might seem like another day to people who work at the office. Just losing a beloved colleague. But for the retiree, it is one of the most momentous days of their lives. Share your oversized good wishes with this oversized card.

Big Happy Retirement

Big happy retirement

Big happy retirement card. A simple but joyous retirement card.

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